I wish I was like you, easily amused

I was laid off about a week ago.  I got a decent severance package and am headed to law school in the fall, so I’m not exactly scrambling to find a new job.   This leaves me with too much free time which I haven’t really done anything with.  So, I’ve decided to chronicle my day.  Maybe it will motivate me to actually, you know, go do something.  Who knows if this will last longer than today.

10:00 am:  Wake up to alarm.  Reset alarm to 11:00 am, turn over and go back to sleep.

10:29 am:  Phone rings.  Recognize first three digits as the exchange for old job, but don’t recognize last four digits.  Definitely not from anyone in my old practice group.  Contemplate not answering.  Answer anyway.  Woman from HR reminding me to file for unemployment before I can start receiving my severance pay.

10:32 am:  Turn over and go back to sleep.

11:00 am:  Wake up to alarm again.

11:15 am:  Finally get out of bed, go to bathroom to brush teeth, wash face, pee and shave.  Not all at the same time.

12:15 pm:  Walk into dentist’s office wondering if cute dental hygienist will clean my teeth.  Disappointed when a different, not nearly as attractive, hygienist tells me to sit down in dentist chair.  Get mildly chastised for not flossing at all.  Choke on pool of saliva at the bottom of my throat because less attractive hygienist will not pull mirror and cleaning tool out of my mouth long enough to let me swallow (that’s what she said).  Finally swallow.  Get reminded to floss everyday.  Hygenist finishes cleaning my teeth.  Get reminded to floss everyday, again.

1:00 pm: Dentist comes over to check my teeth. Tells me I take great care of my teeth despite never flossing.  Subtly smirk at less attractive hygenist.  After two years and three appointments with said dentist, still can’t decide if he’s gay or just really metrosexual.  I mean, don’t well-dressed gay dudes wear Gucci and Armani and not Brooks Brothers?

1:45 pm: Go to Giant to grab a few things.

2:30 pm:  Get home, make lunch and plop down in front of  TV.

4:30ish pm:  Fall asleep in front of TV.

5:15 pm:  Wake up to roommate coming home from work.

5:45 pm: Finally file for unemployment, which takes much longer than one would think.

7:00 pm:  Watch Caps beat Panthers 3-0 while eating dinner.  Twice.

10:12 pm:  Stare at my toenails to see if I can actually see them grow while listening to Bon Iver.

11:21 pm: Get frustrated because my toenails grow too slowly.

11:22 pm:  Wonder to myself if I would like Bon Iver more if I could actually understand what he was singing.

11:23 pm: Sit down to write silly blog post about my day.

1:30 am: Set alarm for 9:30 am to make sure I wake up in time to get to physical therapy.

1:31 am: Go to bed.