I wish I was like you, easily amused

The Genealogy of the Kwong Family for Wesley Gee

I was begged yesterday for another blog post yesterday to aid in a friend’s procrastination of exams. So for her I blog. Also, I haven’t written anything in almost 2 weeks, so its about time for something. This could be a long one.

A couple people have asked me, half-jokingly I think, why I don’t blog about “my forays with the opposite sex”. That’s a direct quote (who talks like that? freak). Well, there are an avalanche of reasons. But I’ll give just a few. First, I wouldn’t want to read about it, so why would I write about it? It honestly isn’t that exciting. Plus, there are a multitude of blogs in the DC blog universe that deal exclusively with dating. Go read one of those. Also, I wouldn’t want someone else pointing out all of my flaws and how bad of a first impression I left on them. That’s just weird and creepy. I think the other person has some sort of a right to expect a certain level privacy. I mean, I hardly tell my roommates, who are all good friend’s of mine, about my “forays”. Why would I put them out where anyone can read about them. That’s just silly. I’d rather use this space to poke fun at my roommates, like how Alex is afraid of lotion. Cream. Moisturizer. Whisper “vaseline” in his ear and he’ll squeal like a little girl. One night after the bar, Meg and I smeared some lotion on his face and he immediately ran into his bathroom to take a shower. Swear to God. I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to. But I digress…

Here’s the biggest reason. I have no illusion or expectation of full anonymity here. My name and picture are in various posts throughout the site. And even if they weren’t, many of the people who read this know me personally. This includes my mom, my sister, and a few of my cousins. Every time I’m home for a family dinner the question “so are you dating anybody right now?” gets muttered at least once by one of my (female) cousins. And I don’t tell them anything there, so why would I tell them here?

Which brings me to my next topic. Last night I was back home for a pre-Christmas family dinner at my uncle’s (my mom’s younger brother) because his family is going out to California to spend the holiday with his wife’s family. After dinner, my uncle broke out these booklets that he had made for every member of the Kwong clan (my grandfather’s children, grandchildren and great grandchildren). A couple years back, one of my aunts went back to the Taishan County, where my grandfather was from, and brought back a genealogy book that chronicled my family roots from Guangdong province.

Unknown to anyone else in our family, my uncle pored over these records and produced booklets for each of us. There’s a brief history of my family, then one page biographies for my great grandfather, great grandmother, grandfather and grandmother. According to the book my first known ancestor, Wen Kuang, who was some sort of imperial bureaucrat, dates back to 1103. 1103. My first ancestor from Taishan was named Gong Biao Kuang and moved there between 1241 and 1252. After the family history is a partial genealogy from Wen Kwong down to my paternal great grandfather and then both of my great grandfather’s descendants. It’s incredible. For a good 15 minutes, there was hardly a peep as everyone read through their copy. If you know my family, you know its damn near impossible to get all 30 of us to all shut up for even a couple minutes. Even my nephews and nieces got quiet for a little bit. They didn’t know what exactly was going on, but I think they found it a little strange that everyone else was quiet, and so they stared on intently, not wanting to disturb the peace.

In the booklet are “The Kwong Family Instructions” from Gong Biao Kuang to his sons that my uncle translated to English. It’s complete with ten general principles to live by and a family motto. It’s all very Confucian. My favorite part is one of the ten principles: “Guard against gossips.” I pointed this out to all the females in the room with a wink and a snicker. In return I got the faux dirty looks that Kwong women are so good at. Then my uncle chimes in: “You know, that translation to English isn’t 100% correct. It should really read ‘Guard against female gossips.’” ZING! It’s even in the family instructions. It doesn’t get much better than this.

All jokes aside, despite my taste for women who are not Chinese (sorry mom), I am extremely proud of my heritage. Now I have something that makes it a little more real.