I wish I was like you, easily amused

This year I actually made New Years resolutions. I made 102 of them to be exact. Let me list them out for you. They’re all up in my head. Oh wait, I can’t remember any of them. Nevermind.

Anyway, I used to, occasionally, write posts with several different two sentence thoughts (wow that sentence sounds awkward). This was before, of course, I became the eloquent writer I am today. Since I don’t really have any one topic that I could make a cogent post about, I’m going to blog like its 2004.

Little kids are amazing. I have five nieces and nephews between the ages of 1 and 5. I was at my cousins house for dinner a month or so back. We were having spaghetti. My 3 year-old nephew ChrisTopher comes running to the table and my cousins tells him in Chinese “take your clothes off”. He gets this big goofy grin and proceeds to awkwardly undress with some assistance as only a 3 year-old can, hop up into his chair, and attack his spaghetti. I guess its a good and amusing way to not have to wash tomato sauce out of clothes. Would have been more amusing if it was a Swedish model sitting across from me. A boy can dream.

Topher is also starting to get really into Power Rangers. Though not quite in the way you would think. He was playing with two Red Rangers. I thought they were fighting until I got closer and heard a smacking sound. Yeah, the Red Ranger was making out with the Red Ranger and my nephew couldn’t have been any more satisfied with himself. Hmmmm.

The Caps started out the season 3-0-0. As a long-suffering Washington Capitals fan, this was great. But then they proceeded to stink up the joint getting Coach Glen Hanlon fired after a 6-14-1 record, good for worst in the whole league. Since Hanlon’s firing they’ve gone 10-6-4 and gotten themselves back into playoff contention. No doubt this has something to do with new coach Bruce Boudreau. But I’m convinced it has more to do with Segways. You read correctly. Segways. Check this out:

Mom, I want a Segway for my birthday.

Texting while driving is set to become illegal in Virginia. Okay, logical enough. But, the ban would also extend to texting while riding a bike, riding an electric scooter, and operating an electric scooter. What? Well, Andy had this commentary on it (I would like to note, he has to pollute my blog with his thoughts because he shut down his blog. Something about a tv show and a girlfriend, but not his girlfriend, his friend’s girlfriend, because he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Yeah, I was that confused when he was trying to explain it to me):

My buddy’s girlfriend crashed her car into another while texting one night in DC. No one was hurt but when I heard the story later, I wondered if there was really a worse state her intelligence could have dropped to. I mean, if trying to compose “lolz no u r my snuggly wuggly” whilst manuevering a 2 ton metal vehicle through the already clusterfucked streets of NE at 2 in the morning doesn’t inherently seem like a bad idea to you, I don’t know that there’s much to be done. Oh, and not being able to text from your wheelchair? You better hope you end up on the island from Lost if you ever want to use your phone again

And some other commenter on the dcist message board had this to say:

Texting while driving is “arguably” more dangerous than talking??!!?Great solar cracking melon-maggots batman, it would seem to be INTENSELY more dangerous. Like driving while playing Battleship on the middle-seat console thing with a demented caveman in the back seat… and we’re not talking about the electronic version of Battleship, brother, hell no. It’s gotta be the old peggy plastic battleship. Crankin’ it oldschool with the demented caveman. And he goes CRAZY when you sink his aircraft carrier: peeing against the windows and bashing that gazelle’s jawbone around, croaking his foul breath…

….while driving, is the point.

Should it be specifically illegal? Maybe. Maybe not. It would be like passing a law SPECIFICALLY prohibiting the whole caveman battleship scenario. Do we really need to legislate against suicidal foolishness? Evidently….